When friendships shift and change.
We were all taught how to be good friends when we were growing up. To share our toys and take turns. We were also taught that if we did these things, then you were able to buy the two heart necklaces with a half a heart on each chain. One saying “BEST”, the other saying “FRIENDS”. We would have this same friend that had the other half of our necklace forever.
Well, I don’t know about you, but I had several “best friends” growing up and I would consider none of those people my closest friend today. What no one tells us when we are little and learning how to be good friends is that not all friendships will last forever, but even more so than that, it’s okay if we aren’t friends with the same people our entire life.
I never had a clique or a tight circle of friends. I kind of scooped up a friend or two as a moved along through life. I have my childhood neighbors that I have inside jokes with from as early as 5 years old, and co-workers today that I would consider good friends I enjoy spending time with.
When I switched to public school I floated around from group to group like any teenager, trying to figure out where I fit. I was a cheerleader but I lived in the library. I was friends with the popular kids that sat next to me in homeroom but always reached out to the new girl sitting alone in the chorus. I bopped around from group to group, which made my birthday parties super confusing when it was always a group of my favorite people, yet none of them were friends with each other. When I graduated high school, I only ended up keeping in touch with two good friends. Everyone else faded away as if me going off to college meant I dropped off the face of the earth and technology didn’t exist. College introduced me to a wild clique of gals. Drinking and party became a regular lifestyle and while I loved my new friends, I couldn’t keep up with that way of life. I took a few steps back and ended up very lonely because of that. I transitioned through new friends but still kept my distance. Mostly a “loner”, I did my own thing and hung out with people when I felt like it.
Post college, things changed again. People got jobs, moved away, got busy. Once again, friendships dropped off and I was left confused as to what happened.
I could tell you story after a story of people who I considered a close and loyal friend, turning their back and acting as if I was a stranger. I still to this day do not know what happened with some of those friends. But there is something that I have realized in this past year; there are few lucky people who get to keep the same friends their entire life. Most friendships are going to change with each season of life we enter.
As our friendships evolve and new ones form, I am starting to believe there is a reason. I believe that God provides us with the people that we need during certain periods in our life, to teach us different lessons or provide support in a certain situation. Just as God is guiding our steps and planning our path, he is also setting up our friends along the way as bummers to keep us on track. So I write this post to tell you that you aren’t alone, that if you have lost a friendship for an unknown reason if someone walked away from you and left you feeling as if you weren’t good enough, know that you are not the only person this has happened to. Even more so, take confidence that there is a reason that person is no longer in your life. Think about your friendship with that person, whether a short few months or several years. Think about the time you spent together and how you grew because of them. You are never alone because when God takes one friend out of your life, he will replace it with someone new to teach you the next lesson you need to learn. You will keep moving and be changing and growing and life will move on, BFF or loner, you will be okay.
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Johanna writes at Johanna Documented ( http://www.johannadocumented.com ), a blog all about honest stories & honest growth, living life authentically, and collecting the little moments. When she’s not writing, she enjoy spending hours in the kitchen, watching movies with as many explosions as humanly possible, and filling her Instagram feed ( https://www.instagram.com/johannadocumented/ ) with pretty pictures.