Gratitude of an Undergrad.

BY HALEY TODD

Haley is a Social Work student at Auburn University, an Enneagram 1w2, and an obsessive eater of sweet potatoes. She loves writing words that help others believe more in Love, Goodness, and themselves. Someday, she wants to work in sustainable international development and help end the global migration crisis. For right now, she's interning at a refugee resettlement agency, learning to speak Arabic, and spending all her money on new tattoos.

My college career didn’t exactly end the way I expected.

While my friends went on spring break, I kept working at my internship. I had a short-term international service trip planned for a few weeks later, so I worked through spring break so that I could take that week off. Throughout our spring break week, news about the coronavirus continued to grow. That Thursday, we got an email that classes were moving online through April 10. Don’t come back to campus, except to get your stuff if you live in a dorm. It was only a matter of time before classes were moved online through the remainder of the semester, all sporting events were canceled, my international trip was delayed, and graduation was postponed.

I didn’t know that so many things would end up being “lasts.” My last class in the Haley Center, my last University Program Council event, my last women’s ministry gathering, my last workout at the Rec, my last student leader meeting. I’m grieving the loss of goodbyes I didn’t get to say.

I suppose I could spend the rest of this post reminding us all that there are no guarantees in life. We haven’t been promised another breath, let alone a graduation ceremony at the end of a four-year college career. But instead of lamenting uncertainty, I want to practice gratitude. 

Focusing on the things I’m thankful for won’t take away the sadness I feel at this sudden ending. It won’t put back together the pieces of my heart that have shattered as I’ve watched this disease shake the world. But gratitude can pump spiritual oxygen into these lungs that ache from crying out. It can remind me, remind all of us, that it’s okay to mourn and say thanks at the same time.

A list of thank-you’s will not heal this disease, or anyone you know and love who has been affected by it. But it can be another strand in the lifeline we’re all hanging a little desperately on. I’d like to encourage you: after you read my list, write one of your own. Pray it, speak it aloud, journal it, address it to a loved one, and mail it off. Be angry and sad and pissed off… and grateful. As Brene Brown puts it, “There is no joy without gratitude.” And I think we could all use a little more joy right now.

With that, here are fifty things I want to say thank you for…

1. FaceTimes with family, friends, and loved ones

2. All the knitting I’ve done in the past few weeks (I call them Corona Crafts)

3. All the pictures I’ve taken in the past few weeks (I call them Pandemic Pics)

4. My fun film camera

5. The opportunity to finish my undergraduate education online

6. Roommates

7. Yummy vegan meals

8. Flowers, both dried and fresh

9. Birds chirping in the morning

10. Sleeping in

11. A mug of hot tea every morning

12. Florence Pugh

13. Finishing a difficult puzzle with my family

14. A way to rewatch Avatar: The Last Airbender (aka the best TV show ever made)

15. Sharpie pens

16. Other kinds of pens

17. Instagram Live concerts with some incredible music artists

18. The Georgia Aquarium webcams

19. The fawn I saw running across the yard yesterday

20. Schedules to keep me sane

21. Antidepressants, also to keep me sane

22. My grandmother giving me her button stash

23. Memories of fun trips

24. Brene Brown, to be honest

25. My boyfriend’s sense of humor

26. The Disorderly Knights by Dorothy Dunnett and The Universal Christ by Richard Rohr

27. Technology to stay connected

28. The color pink

29. My umbrella plant named Frances

30. Music for different moods (currently jamming to my “Songs to Keep from Pan(dem)icking” playlist)

31. Funny videos on the Internet

32. Sweet potatoes

33. My dad agreeing to help me repaint my childhood bedroom

34. Pretty copies of my favorite books, especially Pride and Prejudice and Little Women

35. The Little Women 2019 film

36. Sunrises

37. Sunsets

38. Sunshine throughout the day

39. The moon and stars, for good measure

40. Marie Kondo

41. Each and every letter in my letter box

42. Successes of the feminist movement, civil rights movement, and other movements to advance equality

43. The right to vote

44. The cute Bluetooth mouse I have with little flamingos on it

45. Hairstyles I can do now that my hair has grown out

46. The short film Hair Love

47. Baby Yoda

48. Stationery

49. Hope

50. You :-) Thank you for reading! Wishing you health, safety, and gratitude in this crazy time.