Alleviating Loneliness

CommunityFriendshiphumankindlove lettersShowing upStationery

May 17

Written By

ANNE BAILIE

It is a sad truth that many people today feel lonely, and a global pandemic has not helped. How do we reach out to those we know who are lonely? Obviously, you could write them a letter (you were expecting that on this blog, weren’t you?!), but here are some additional practical and creative ways to let them know you are thinking of them, that they are important, and that they are loved.

Before you read them, take a moment to think of a few people you know who are feeling particularly lonely at the moment and unable to get out and about as they would wish to do. With them in mind, perhaps some of these ideas might prove useful for you . . .

Writing

Send a card. It could be for their birthday or Mothering Sunday; it could be for one of the many lesser-known celebrations (Happy World Book Day, Happy Plant A Flower Day, and Happy World Poetry Day in March!). It could simply be a brief, “Thinking of you and missing you and sending love and hugs” kind of a card, which will certainly be appreciated too.

Send a letter. If you enjoy writing, you could send a letter. My late mother-in-law and her beloved sister-in-law wrote to each other fortnightly for nearly six decades, and their friendship, maintained across considerable physical distance, was extremely important to both of them.

Send a postcard. Consider sending a postcard to someone every day for a week or even for a month. Choose themed postcards or select random ones. Perhaps you have a stash of postcards from places you have visited, and you could write a favourite memory about each place on them. Or a quotation from a favourite book or song. If they love to cook, you could send a simple recipe on the back of each card.

Send Something Else

Keep addresses, envelopes, and stamps together in an easily accessible place. Then, when you find something in a paper or magazine that you think the person would like to read—an article, review, cartoon, or recipe—it is really easy to cut it out and send it to them with a post-it cover note. “Thinking of you and thought you would enjoy this! Love, X” is enough to brighten anyone’s day. You could also send it to them electronically, of course.

If they enjoy reading, you could make them a bookmark if you love to draw or paint, or simply create one from a favourite quotation or an old ticket to an event you attended together.

Sending a Gift via Mail

Send a little gift. You can have lovely, inexpensive gifts sent directly via many Etsy shops, for example. Check for free postage offers, and check also that the seller will include a personal message from you with the gift. Some examples of things to send:

A box of their favourite tea or coffee – or a new blend for them to try
A box of biscuits or buns
A gift that reminds them of a place you visited together
A bar of chocolate or a packet of their favourite sweets
A book that you’ve just read and you know they will love
A notebook or sketch pad, with colouring pens or pencils
Something for their favourite sport or hobby
Anything you have made for them

Common Senses

Make a spring basket to engage all their senses: with a bright card of tulips, a fresh blend of mint tea, a spring-scented soap, a spring music CD, and a soft facecloth or hand cream, for example.

Make a Photo Card or Photo Book

Select a few photos of you together and turn them into a photo card. Many apps allow you to write your own message and post it directly from them to the recipient. Cards can include one or multiple photographs and the apps are easy to use. You can send a photo card for a specific time, like a birthday or anniversary, or just because you want to add cheer to their day. You could even create a photobook for them, something they will certainly treasure.

Coffee Time

You may feel Zoomed out with work calls, but the person who is lonely may be longing to see familiar faces, even if it’s only on a screen. So set up a time for a short WhatsApp call with them, while you are both drinking tea or coffee. If you are particularly well-organised, you could send them some of their favourite biscuits, tea or coffee (see above) in advance. A twenty-minute call, over coffee, will brighten your day as well as theirs.

Doorstepping

If they live nearby, and perhaps are shielding or unable to see people at the moment for health reasons, you could leave a little gift on their doorstep for them. Suitable gifts include a little pot of spring bulbs so that they have the pleasure of seeing them bloom and enjoying their scent (hyacinths or narcissi are perfect), a home-cooked meal, a small basket of fruit, or even a coffee from their favourite café or buns from their favourite bakery.

Sweet Memories

Ask them questions – for example, what is their favourite chocolate bar or sweets from childhood? See where such conversations can lead – and perhaps even send them a packet of their favourite childhood sweets. Ask about favourite music as well – and then send them similar songs.

Rainbow Days

Over the next few weeks, take a series of photos and send them to your friend/family member. You can link them via any theme or interest: for example, send a photo representing each colour of the rainbow in turn. So, in the UK, you could take a photo of a red letterbox and send a wee text/Whatsapp message to say, "Something red for you today" - and tell them you have also just posted them a card in that postbox. This can be as simple or as creative as you wish it to be - but themed messages can bring much anticipatory joy and can be a lot of fun for both the sender and the recipient.

Spend Ten

Spend ten minutes every day contacting someone who is lonely: in that time you could write a quick postcard, record a message, select and send a song, choose a small gift or write part of a letter. Ten minutes well spent.

Bottom line: don’t just think of someone – take action to let them know you are thinking of them.