The Only One

Miranda Mitchell

Christian, wife, mother of Eli, Clemson Tiger, and Corporate Procurement Director. Miranda is from “Famously Hot,” Columbia, SC.

When I was a child, I was fascinated by “Where’s Waldo” puzzle books. The goal of these books was to scan an illustration of a massive crowd of people and find Waldo. Finding Waldo, who always wore a red and white striped shirt, red and white hat, and round glasses, was always challenging. But when I did finally find Waldo, a sense of sheer joy would always overwhelm me, and I would eagerly flip the page and challenge myself to find Waldo more quickly.

As an adult, I no longer entertain myself with “Where’s Waldo” books. Outside of being a wife and a mother, most of my days are spent problem solving, developing supply chain and sourcing strategies for manufacturing environments, negotiating multi-million dollar supply agreements, and managing supplier relationships. I consider myself the Olivia Pope of supply chain. If you have never heard of Olivia Pope, she was a character in a television series called “Scandal.” If there was a political scandal or a situation with no solution in sight, she specialized in “fixing” it. Olivia Pope was fierce, strong, confident, professional—and Black.

As a Black female engineer and supply chain professional, I have the opportunity to enter many rooms. However, with that opportunity, comes a sense of loneliness. Oftentimes, I am not just a minority—I am the only one. Filled with the pressure to perform. Filled with the weight of the responsibility to represent not just myself, but others that look like me. Filled with the stress, tension, and burden of always appearing to be strong, when in fact I’m human--just like everyone else. Filled with the need to make a positive, lasting impression- because it may be that person’s only impression of you and others that look like me.The pressure, weight, stress, tension, and burden is sometimes too much for only one person to bear.

Although “Where’s Waldo” is a thing of the past for me, every time I enter a new or unfamiliar environment, I quickly scan the room longing to make an immediate connection with someone who looks like me. As a child, looking for Waldo in a crowd of people was fun and entertaining. However, searching for any resemblance of myself in a room and never or rarely finding it ushers in a sense of solitude and loneliness that seems like it cannot be overcome.

You may specifically not identify with being Black, female, or a minority in a field dominated by people who may not share your ethnicity, background, or culture. However, I do believe that most people can identify with feeling lonely, out of place, disconnected, or like no one understands how you feel or what you’re going through. You may be looking for your “Waldo” amongst a sea of people around you—only to leave feeling that you are the “only one”. I’m here to tell you that you are not alone. You may feel lonely, but you are never alone.

If you struggle with being or feeling like that you are the “only one”, consider these suggestions:

Make Meaningful Connections Without Boundaries.

The two key words here are “without boundaries”. No matter what room you are in—at home, within your family, at a professional event, or in the park, always look for an opportunity to make a connection. Seek to find common ground. You will be surprised to find out that you may have more in common with someone than you think, and that in itself will make you feel less alone. They may look different than you. They may have a different background or upbringing. When making these intentional connections with people, you will not only possibly uncover your purpose, but you will ultimately learn that you are not as alone as you think. Life was not designed to be done alone.

Connect with Yourself.

It may sound counterintuitive, but spending more time with yourself and becoming more comfortable and confident with who you are as a person can help tremendously with overcoming a sense of loneliness. Take time to better understand your strengths and weaknesses, your desires and convictions, your fears and your passions. Build your self-esteem and embrace your uniqueness. Once you realize that you, (insert your name here), have a purpose and that you matter in every situation and every room---you likely will spend less time being consumed with loneliness. Channeling my inner “Olivia Pope” and walking in my uniqueness, personally allowed me to thrive in any room that I walk into unapologetically. I've become ok with being the only “me” in the room.

Be a Champion.

Change the Room or Create a New One. Sometimes, the reality is that the spaces and the rooms that you have to exist in will simply not always be a reflection of you. You may not find “Waldo” today, but perhaps you may find him or her tomorrow. I encourage you to be a champion. Create a safe space for people like you to connect, nurture one another, and grow. Start a group on social media platforms to exchange ideas and share your personal experiences. Whatever you choose to do, know that you have power to change the room or create a new one.